oxycodone IS magic Vol 46

If you actually heard “one small step for man … ” , you must be a Boomer !

I am back, blogging on Boomers who need to stop glazing at their belly buttons, and get off the couch and do something. I am back after doing a very Boomer thing, having a full knee replacement. I know breast implant operations are probably still the number one vanity elective procedure overall ( and why not ! ), for the Boomer set, knee fixes are steadily climbing.

We are an active generation – at least compared to our fathers – so it was only a matter of time before something broke down. After 45 years of jogging and gym workouts, 25 years of hockey, 15 years of football ( including University ball ), and 10 years of basketball, 3 “scopes”, 2 Synvisc needles, and a winter of rehab without success, it was time to cut. My case, which seems to be of a common thread with my ex-hockey buddies, is that eventually something goes. Maybe its a back disc, maybe a nerve pinch, but usually its a knee. There are stories of Boomers dying on the ice of a heart attack, but usually a teammate who have all the symptoms of an attack, and I have seen only a few, get the immediate attention they need to survive.

I do wonder, being 59 and needing surgery simply because I was active, if it was all worth it ? Would I advise a younger me, if the opportunity existed, to try to take it easy, to give up all the years of enjoyment, social interaction with gym or teammates, sharing in victories and defeats, addicted to the physical buzz of working out ? Ballroom dancing perhaps, or swimming ? Ah, probably not.

After all, modern medicine is amazing. I got a new hip a few years ago, the result of an accident, and have never regretted it. If they can replace a hip with no ill effects today, imagine what they will be able to do in the next few years ! I even know of guys still playing hockey with new hips. Unfortunately, a new knee can not replicate the motion and torque needed to play hockey, so that part of my social life will have to change.

Since change is part of being a successful Boomer, I treated my worn out cartilage as a opportunity to look for new hobbies. I am still looking …

So, appointment made, a frustrating 2 year wait, and I am now the 8 week owner of a new right knee. The operation takes 90 minutes, and the usual hospital stay is two nights. I was up walking the next day, with the help of the rehab staff, which is the usual timeline. Frankly, the faster you are able to get to the bathroom to pee on your own, the quicker the catheter gets pulled out of your penis. Now there is a sensation I can not describe. In case you were wondering, I was already asleep on the operating table when the pee tube was inserted, as I have no memory of that experience.

I suppose its in the same family of feelings involved with a colonoscopy exam, but I insisted on being asleep for that as well, as I see no need to explore my inner faggot.

Day 2, they start weaning you off the morphine, giving me a choice between Percocet’s ( a pill with oxycodone and acetaminophen ) and Tylenol 3’s ( codeine, acetaminophen, and caffeine ). Highly addictive, I preferred the Oxy opiate in the Percocet. T3’s made me drowsy and fogged in mentally. Motivation to do rehab was difficult to muster, but it was a great pain killer and lasted a little longer than the Percocet.

Rehab, unfortunately was a must. Otherwise your leg stiffens up, you lose your range of motion and flexibility, and what is the point of the surgery if you wind up still limping ?

Oxy, on the other hand, while being a little fogging, was a much better pain killer as it just seemed to turn off the pain, instead of mask it. I had the motivation to do the exercises, and rehab is proceeding on schedule. I have gone from 8 pills a day, down to 1-2, and see needing none soon. I do not see the addictive aspects of the drug, but I understand that lots of people do get addicted. I do get why Oxy is in such demand as a chronic pain killer, to the point that people try to buy it illegally. If I had a chronic condition, I would definitely prefer Oxy.

I could not see doing the operation without being to control the pain afterwards, especially during rehab. The doctors tell you to “stay on top of the pain”, but that means being medicated 24/7 for a few weeks while you blend metal, space age plastics, with human flesh. Frankly, I doubt many people would go through with the operation without some pain relief. After all, we Boomers like our medications, don’t we ?

Next on Boomers – wtf !, why Arab boomers are the stupidest on the planet !